Happy Medium — Inspiration That Fits

Half-Marathon Training Update

It's now less than 3 weeks til my half-marathon, and somehow I haven't fallen off the wagon yet. I've been sticking to the 4 milers twice a week and the longer run on Saturdays. Inevitably, the long runs require a post-run nap, so the day goes quickly. It's hard to make myself not sleep in, and I pay for it with the hotter weather we've been having lately. I'm honestly looking forward to the whole thing being over.

This past weekend, my long run was 10 miles. I have a hard time believing the words "I ran 10 miles," but it's fun to say. If you had told me a year ago I'd be able to do this, I wouldn't believe you.

My new friend

Nature, you so pretty.

I've been carrying water the past couple of long runs, which has really helped me (especially with the recent hot weather). I attempted to ration my 20 oz bottle into thirds, drinking 1/3 at 3 miles, another 1/3 at 6 miles, and the rest at 9 miles, but it was so hot that I ended up consuming the whole thing by mile 6 and refilling my water bottle at a fountain along the trail. I also took in two Power Bar gels in the first 6 miles, and they seemed to help. I drank my usual whey protein + water (16oz) afterwards and another 8 oz of water. All in all, I don't think I got too dehydrated, but I am thinking about trying a mix of water + gatorade next time to see if that is any improvement. I'm getting to distances where electrolytes are important, so I don't want to over-water myself.

I'm scheduled to run 11 miles next Saturday, and 8 the following week to taper before the race. Just two more long runs, and then the big day. I'm equal parts excited and terrified.

A Very Special TMI Post

Alert!

To my male readers, this is going to be a post about Lady Stuff. If Lady Stuff makes you uncomfortable, avert your eyes now!

I have been avoiding writing this post for a solid year, but it's time. I've skirted around the topic a lot, I've hinted at it, and I've even podcasted about not talking about it.

Thursday morning, I had my annual Lady Checkup, which means it's been a year since I stopped taking hormonal birth control. There, I said it! I have been off the pill for the last year.

In real life, every time I've confessed this to someone, they've become very wide-eyed and excited because they think I'm telling them I am trying to have a baby. When I tell them that no, I'm not trying to get pregnant, they look at me like I've just told them I think the moon landing was staged.

A Little History

Let's back up a little bit. I went on the pill when I was 17. I was very overweight, having a lot of problems emotionally, and dealing with periods that were so severe I'd sometimes have to leave school. This might seem normal for someone in their teens, but after years (5 + at this point) of periods that weren't like that, this was a big change. So, I started taking the pill, and my problems essentially vanished. I stopped gaining weight (at least, for a while), I felt like a functional person, and my periods became regular again. Magic!

This story isn't much different than a lot of other women's stories. Many of us went on the pill for medical reasons, which is one reason I get so worked up about the Sandra Fluke thing (yes, still!)

The reason many of us stayed on the pill may be different. I can say I didn't use the pill for it's most well-known use (cheatin' nature) for several years after starting it. I know at that point, I stayed on it because I was terrified of getting pregnant. Years later, I stopped being so terrified of getting pregnant, but I stayed on it because I was terrified of what going off of it would do to my body. By the time I quit, I'd been on that stuff for ten years.

The Tipping Point

I finally reached the tipping point last year, when I found myself crying on the floor (Taylor Swift-style) because I was so tired. I worked out regularly, I got plenty of sleep, I drank the same amount of coffee every day, but I couldn't keep my eyes open. I'd felt like this for years, but it was starting to get much worse. I was also dealing with never wanting to Do It anyway, the ultimate irony of being on the pill.

I finally confronted my doctor about all this last year. I told him what was wrong with me, and I asked him if he could switch me to a different dosage. He told me that I was already on the lowest hormone combination available, and all I could do was choose to go off of it, or deal with the symptoms. Later, I found some information about how hormonal birth control lowers testosterone, which lowers both alertness and sex drive. I also read that testosterone levels in women naturally decline with age. Those two facts in combination with each other pretty much shut the lid on my decision.

The Good

• Almost immediately, I felt awake. I felt like I was experiencing life for the first time. I felt like Zach Braff in Garden State after going off his depression medications, or my grandma after having cataract surgery. I dreamed in colors. Food had taste. I will never, ever go back on the pill if for no other reason than this.
• I'll spare you the details, but feeling awake took care of my Chief Other Complaint too. Ahem.
• I now cycle every 45 days instead of every 28.
• My periods are lighter.
• I don't have cramps.
• I lost weight. (Unfortunately, I also starting running around the same time I quit the pill, so I don't have very good science.)
• I don't have to remember to take a pill everyday, and I don't have to go to the pharmacy every month.

The Bad

• My skin is a teenager again. This may have to be a separate post.
• I have PMS. I never had PMS when I was on the pill because I wasn't having a real cycle. The nature of having PMS now on a cycle that's 45 days means I always forget when it's scheduled to happen, and instead I just literally feel like I'm going crazy. I don't understand why I hate everyone and suck at everything, and then I remember.
• I have to use alternate forms of birth control. Despite having said so much already, this part is going to stay personal.

So, there you have it. I wanted to share this story with you (dear readers) because I hope it will be helpful for other women who are thinking about making the leap to go off the pill. There are plenty of horror stories out there about women's bodies reacting negatively to going off the pill, as well as plenty of stories about women who got pregnant immediately. Consider this story a victory, at least for now.