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I used to think this blog was about my weight loss. In 2006, my doctor encouraged me to lose some weight due to spiked triglyceride levels. I was 21 years old and invincible, but I gave it a shot. Over the course of the next 6 1/2 years, I would lose a net total of 70+ pounds, but that was never the point.
Visiting my dad in Antigua after graduation - May 2006
My 28th birthday - Jan 2013
I never had a good body image as a kid, and I grew up with way too much of my self-esteem invested in my appearance. I grew up in the 90s, before the "obesity epidemic," when I was the only fat kid in my school. My teachers were always Concerned. They showed me charts and numbers demonstrating the fact that I was different. I was bullied. I never thought I was beautiful. I would spend years chasing numbers and charts and trying to fit in.
Now that I'm older and have been every size between 4 and 18, I have learned a few things. Sure, I've learned about exercise and nutrition, but I've also learned that "being happy when" is a waste of time. There is always going to be some new goal, some further distance, some smaller number. And there is always going to be someone who tries to tell me it's not good enough. Guess what? Sometimes that person is me.
I don't want to be that person -- my teachers, the kids in school, or the media. I want to love myself more than that. So, I've decided that "fitting in" is not happiness. Taking care of myself is happiness. And that's what this blog is about.
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